The Void Inside Me

Why do I live?

That was a mystery.

Does anyone know that?

My face was slipping of life

I had lost my way, road a shadow

I do not want to breathe

My path lost, too late.

The way was infinite,

I stood frozen, afraid.

Could this be just an unimaginable nightmare?

Was I still here, alive?

I was no longer living

I had become a tangible shadow

Emily. I was no longer her.

Emptiness swallowed me, filled me.

I looked at me without seeing me

Standing between nothing and everything

I felt like a nobody.

I was nothing but a template now…

Deep inside me, I a void was created

There was emptiness. Not a trace of an emotion

I was going to stay here…

How amazing it would be to feel again!

I was now made up of switches and masks, myself dead.

I survived the blades of life, but at what cost?

To no longer be alive, soul nor body, dying.

I had no contract to keep myself alive

What could life do without me? I was a nobody

Souls abandoned their bodies without a care

Emptiness was closing in, suddelly, stealthily

A quiet void, loss.

No where to run, to find any hope.

The void was becoming larger, always devouring.

My body cold.

A personna to match the people, and the people believed in my face.

I knew I was no longer living with myself, but Nothing itself

I had become empty, pained, afraid.

I had already forgot the feelings in my heart,

The pain of a faded life.

In that space, there is no such thing as love, joy, excitement.

Another tear through the soul, another way to darkness

One more reason to die,

No story was written, no life experience

My final action can’t be remembered...

Since my own death, nothing lit me up anymore

I lost my turn at simply living.

No emotion of love, or hate.

I died years between childhood and adolescence.

I couldn’t see the girl from before

From the end of the bottomless pit, a corpse

The shell of her body has never left me.