Wabi-Sabi

Wed, 10/14/2015 - 03:14 -- wm0808
Who is she?
Who am I?
 
Born and raised in Texas, with a conservative, religious family
Both parents immigrants and did what they could to integrate normally
 
Provided more than just a roof over my head
Gave me all the comforts in the world so every night I laid peacefully in bed
 
When I was 15, my mom decided to move to England, closer to her family
She reverted her plans when I was too emotional to leave my home city
 
Thought I knew everything as I was going through high school
Acted like a king when in actuality, I was a fool
 
Looking back, I cringe feeling like my choices were selfish
I feel like I was responsible for my mom's dream of England being finished
 
Entered college, slowly realizing I did not know what I wanted to do
Professors, competitions, roommates, campus - everything was so new
 
On top of all this, my brother got into trouble with drugs
I had to act normal, put on a smile and place my feelings under the rug
 
The true shock was when I heard he had been restrained
His issues never stopped causing my family to feel emotionally and financially drained
 
Started to feel the responsibilities of being an adult
The eldest sibling of four, my parents were eager to see my results
 
As time kept passing by, I felt more anxious with myself
Graduation was approaching and I felt everyone is wondering "what is she doing with herself?"
 
Flipped through a dictionary, reading through words as I sip on tea
"Wabi-sabi" - is that even real? As I read this term, it surprised me
 
Defined as "a Japanese worldview of accepting that life isn't perfect,
but also of finding beauty in those imperfections," it made me reflect
 
I came to the realization that "becoming me" is not a goal to obtain
"Me" is not a destination or something that should cause me shame
 
Becoming "me" is the past, future, present, the here and the now
For all that I am, imperfections and all
 
After years of applications and tests, I am accepted into a physician assistant program
I cannot believe one day I will be able to interpret an electrocardiogram
 
Everyday I learn and soak up my adventures like a sponge
Everyday I am me and start each new day with a plunge
 
Soon, I start school, my career and continue on with this life,
in hopes of helping others and making positive change to the world around
Always remembering that I am defined by my family, friends and encounters; my hopes, dreams and aspirations; I am my journey, this is what I have found

 

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