waiting?

Once again back again Tapping my feet Eyes search again For a hook A grasp Something to take my attention I ask Is this ok? The doing of nothing The waiting time The never fussing This goes here And that goes there While i stay put Watching grey turned hair. But i am still young Feeling ever so ancient Prehistoric In disagreement Cus i know not all In fact, barely none Smile and nod Pretend to have fun To feel To be real To pretend And comprehend That lies Are you And the fake is true. Only boring people Get bored My mum, she said often But i was never satisfied With my plentiful options Does this mean i am less Understandably not impressed That when you look down There's nothing but plastered mess Whited out Cleared away The essence of absence still remains? can you can you You can tell loving love Don't go to well Down here where we reside Me myself, me and I The multiples of me Ramping codependency On the reliance of sanity Not priding on vanity On smiling Not hiding Shying from the end With no finish Going round again The ferris wheel Round again Till the world seems unreal Round round round again Both aqua and teal Merge Converge Like light to life And water to wind Mind to me Ideas binned