I can't seem to find something

something that cures the absence in my soul

I'm trying to find that love that people talk about

all I see is the numbness within my mind

I can't seem to hide away anymore

I can tell you are looking through me

I am nothing before you.

I cannot give you what you need.

I'm lost more than you can cure

Or maybe I just 

No, I'm not

I can't let myself try to cover myself up with the mess of peoples misunderstandings

If you want me you'll need to understand

I just wish I could hold you here and let you know.

I want to hold you for so long.

I want you to know that I am in love again.

It was always you.

I couldn't find what I have for you in anyone else

It felt as though the universe was connecting us through different dimensions.

I'm trusting my broken soul that I will be able to continue everything I do.

I just need to hold on.

I need to put the pills away.

I need to scream into my pillow at night.

I need to wait.

Press one more day.

More pain just for you.

I know if I wait it'll all be okay.

7 months.

I can do this.

Wake up.

Get dressed.

Say I love myself.

Say I'm beautiful.

Write poetry

Paint on a canvas.

I just need to carry on

life can fill me sometimes with lies.

when my ceiling turns grey and my heart is starting to crack.

I can't let that happen again.

You are almost home.

Almost home. 

I just want the time to hurry up.

I'm dying inside.

-art