Waking up

Waking up
Waking up to the smell of your cologne on my neck and hands
Waking up to the sound of you breathing against my chest 
Waking up to a feeling of pleasurable pain between my thighs
Waking up to the sight of your eyes closed and lips open breathing softly as you sleep Waking up to the pain in my heart waking up to the pain in my mind 
Waking up to an empty bed waking up to no new calls
no new messages
no new calls 
no new messages 
I have no new calls
no new messages
Waking up thinking of the times I woke up before to the smell and sight and sound of you.
Waking up used to be as euphoric as falling asleep with you
Waking up is no longer beautiful

Waking up is a passage into a dark hallway where at the end there may be a door or a noose to hang myself with.
Waking up is now harder than it was before because I have nothing.
No I have no one to wake up to.
No one to wake up to.
I have no one