The Walk

 

 I made a lifetime decision in a temporary situation. Following my heart with blinded eyes to what is ahead of me. Asking it where art thou taking me and I listen with not my ears but my soul. I get no answer and yet still in all I blindly take those steps.  Bullets of eagerness shoot through my brain embedding fear into my conscious making me aware of my past doings. Taking each step slowly, now cautiously and screaming with fear in my voice I ask my heart once again where art thou taking me and again it’s no reply. Naïve and careless I continue to walk this path emotionally numb and blind. I stop to attempt to clear my thoughts and I feel a tug on my chest. I stretch my arms forth to feel but all the while with my eyes still cemented shut I feel no one or nothing there.  Trembling from my head to my feet I began to feel as if I shouldn’t take another step without being emotionally stable and aware of what’s ahead of me. For some reason I can’t fight this feeling of anticipation that’s flowing through my veins.  I can’t abort this feeling if I prolong this journey I may never be able to see with my eyes again. Where might I be going? Should I try and open my eyes?  Another pull at my chest but this one hurts as if my ribs are being broken and my lungs have shattered. Gasp for air and I can’t catch my breath.  I have felt pain before but never anything like this. Like a mother in labor pain I scream for help and there is still no answer. I fall where I stand as I land my eyes began to open. I hear the sounds of braking concrete when they are finally open and a feeling of some liberation over take me. Mentally I rejoice but still with some distort in my soul. Still feeling no contentment taking my last breathe I ask my heart WHY?!! And I can hear a still voice but I cannot understand the words. So I listen with the deepest part of my soul and ask again why is this happening to me is? Why am I on this journey with blinded eyes? Tell me why I feel this way? As I’m asking these questions my sight has become clearer and I hear “I vow to never break your heart I promise I got us”. Shaking my head in fear because I’m thinking how my heart can speak those words about its self. Tears began to flow like rivers down my face and suddenly I feel a soft warm hand wipe mine eyes and suddenly I can breathe again. All the while it was you holding my heart the feeling of satisfaction warmed me from head to toe. Now not feeling empty I realize why it was a pull at my chest, why I couldn’t breathe, and why I couldn’t open my eyes. A test of faith I hear the wind whisper. For we walk by faith and not by sight…

Writing for me is a liberating experience. It liberates me mentally physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. To say the things that your heart feels with out judgement because the paper and pen excepts my every imperfection. 

              -jaejaebk