Wall of Glass

A wall of glass sits between us

Just on the other side sits the only one I’ve ever loved

We see each other

We scream to each other but to no avail

Because the wall is soundproof

The room around me is dark and cold and calculating

Daring me to make my next move

One more screw up it wants

One more reason to pull the walls in nearer

The one on the other side has always been the one to push back the walls

And fix the one light that sits broken in a lonely ceiling fan

But now here I am

The one sitting in a room of insurmountable grief

The one lying here on this hard mattress staring up at a black sky

For 24 hours

The eerie silence surrounds me whispering nothingness

I have nothing left but wishes and hope that ebbs and waivers

So I toss an imaginary coin into the void

Wishing that one day the silence will be broken

One day I will have more to do than sit on a mattress

Cold as steel

Reconsidering and thinking about

All the things I could’ve done better

Before that wall solidified

How I miss the one on the other side

The closeness, the soft sound of their breathing

If only I could see long enough

To find a crack in the wall

A simple fracture that would change everything

I could chip away at it

Day by day

With every regret I’ve ever had

With every word left unspoken

In a cathartic explosion

But who’s to say that the one on the other side

Won’t just open her door and walk away?

Will miss the grand spectacle as the wall falls away

A question left unanswered for another day

Who’s to say?

That the wall will turn to gray

That the fall won’t fall away

And the room might collapse with me trapped

Betwixt the wall of insurmountable grief