Walls and Chains

Walls around my heart,

Chains around my body

 

Keeping me stiff and without emotion

Keeping me from letting anyone in

 

These walls I built a mile high inside me

These invisible chains I wrapped around my body

 

Don't let anyone inside

Keep everybody out I often have to remind myself

 

I can't risk getting hurt again and again

The first time got be broken and I swore to myself never again

 

So I built walls around my heart

And wrapped invisible chains around my body

 

Trying as hard as I can to block people out

And to get rid of the key to the chains and to the wall

 

My heart can't take no more hurt

It has already been through enough

 

My father, my hero, left my mother

Taking with him my happiness and joy

 

He promised he would come back

But that was eleven years ago

 

And I am no longer that little girl wishing for her daddy

I'm a teenager now, no longer a three year old with hopeful dreams

 

I built a concrete wall around my heart

And wrapped invisible metal chains around my body and my soul

 

People hurt you everyday and in every way imaginable

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to die

 

To leave this world and go to the afterlife

I also wonder what awaits me after death

 

Will it be my dead family members?

Will I end up in Heaven or Hell?

 

I never did believe alot in God

I never truly connected with him

 

My mind often took a turn

And questioned him alot

 

I'm pretty sure that is against a one of God's laws

But I can't remember which one

 

God and I have never been close

And I often wonder if when I die, if I'll end up in Hell

 

I often question my religion and my beliefs

My family prefers not to question me at all

 

I am apparently, according to everyone, very mature for my age

And very strange as well

 

I often wonder if my friends would still like me

If they saw the girl beneath the chains and beneath the wall

 

Would they like me for who I am?

Or would they hate me for being a fake?

 

Whenever I think these thoughts

I tighten the chain around my heart and strengthen the wall around my heart

 

I wrap my arms around myself

And set somewhere peacefully to cry

 

For daddy and mom, who were separated

And for myself, for not being true to who I am

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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