Warrior

She carries out two lives; One for the public And one for herself Late at night Switch on The warm rays of the sun gently cuddles her "You are a warrior" She repeats as she readies herself for yet another day "You are a warrior" She says as she reminisces about last night She trudges down the path that leads her to a yellow meadow Only here, the grasses are replaced with yellow buildings "You are a warrior" She says as she steps into the meadow A big smile plastered on her face "You are a warrior" She says to herself as she laughs her way through the day Even when all she wants to do is cry Often she catches herself spacing out Others notice it too "Are you okay? " "I'm fine." It's easier this way. It's easier not to explain your problem to the people And that's the problem " You are a warrior" She says as she gets into her bed Exhaustion creeping through her "You are a warrior" She says as she closes her eyes for the day Switch off What was once a toasty surface Now feels cold and hard She twists and turns Waiting for the sleep to consume her "You are a warrior " She says as she feels an invisible force dragging her deeper and deeper into darkness Her skin feels sticky Her body numb "You are a warrior" She shouts; hoping that it'll keep her strong enough Hot liquid pours down her face Her breathing escalates "I am not a warrior " Her whimpers turn to sobbing Her sobbing to cries "I am not a warrior" She whispers as her mind now gains control over her body "Breathe " "Distract your mind" "Think happy thoughts" She tries. She TRIES. But this invisible weight placed upon her is suffocating her She's drowning; Drowning in her own pool of tears "I am not a warrior " She lost. Her mind won. She is now a puppet; A puppet of her mind which is laughing down at her Reminding her of how worthless she is Reminding her of how flawed she is She forgets how to breathe She is gasping for air; screaming for help The devil is enjoying this He is enjoying seeing her in pain He shows her no mercy Desperation. A blade appears with a devilish smile "USE ME" Desperation. She needs relief She needs relief from this pain "USE ME!" She cuts herself. Once. Twice. Thrice. Her breathing is ragged Arms covered in blood Silence. She feels her warm blood dripping down her arm Silence. Her mind is finally mute Silence. She is back in her bed Silence. She finally falls asleep Silence. Switch on