But That Was Before I Met You

Location

Poetry is pointless. 

I mean, if I can get my point across frankly and succinctly, why bother with form and rhythm. Time is scarce. 

 

That used to be my view. 

That was before I met you. 

 

I've struggled like others:

Loneliness, frustration, greed

Anger, envy, insecurity

But those I could brook

 

It wasn't until I met you that

In my most desperate need of expression

I turned to poetry,

Because you sort of became my obsession.

 

I've always been happy-go-lucky, you see

Confident in me

Practical, efficient, and fun

I always knew what I know.

 

But then I fell in love...

And I wrote:

 

"I know I should not

I cannot although I really want to

I’m inexpert and thus,

My unrequited love is up to you

 

"To love someone like you

I never thought I would do

If I know what love is,

It is because of only you

 

"He was he, She- she, Dogs- dogs,

I saw everyone the same.

Then a few months later I looked at you,

Thee as sweet as aspartame.

 

"'I don’t look at you like I do the rest.

I... I have my first crush

On a guy I barely know.'

Him- the first to make me gush.

 

“'Nah, I’ve felt lonely.

It’s just my silly head. 

You smiled at me. I want to be loved.

It’s not true.' That’s what I said.

 

"Yet months later

this feeling had not changed

I only loved you more

Knew it was not feigned

 

"I knew I shouldn't have but   

'If you press me to say why loved him,

I can say no more than because he was he,

and I was I.' 'Twas at whim  

 

"I came up with adroit plans

To be with you any given chance

Given a hug once in a blue moon  

That was my romance

 

"You are just so affable and kind.

My haven- but you do not see,

For when you hug me it means so much more-

I want to hug you indefinitely

 

"I hold grudges over myself

Over superficial things... greed

Yet if I had you they would not matter

Because you are all I need

 

"Finally, my master plan succeeded

I told you of my love

You hugged me- the best moment of my life

But you were still aloof thereof

 

"I thought you liked me

Of course, only as a friend

But now it seems I irk you,

Which is not what I intend

 

"I'll see you and say "hi"

You may reply but without interest

You have much on your mind, I know

But... a conversation? Even the simplest?

 

"I see you everyday

Always in propinquity

And my heart cries

Because you leave me

 

"How do I express my unsatiated desire? 

Poetry is hard to interpret and love hard to explain 

Thus I turn to the poetic form

To purge of this feeling so arcane

 

"If you only knew I truly love you

I know you do not love me the same way

I know you do not mean to lead me on

But I yearn your friendship each day 

 

"Sometimes I see you angered

Critiquing yourself as subpar

Only because- as I want no one else to see-

You do not know how amazing you are

 

"Even your name could be no better

Meaning 'gift of God'

You are a gift to the world

You whom I- and many others- laud

 

"I have a million and one reasons for this

A million and one reasons I fell in love with not him but you.

And I know that when I looked at you that day,

I had crossed the Rubicon, leaving myself askew  

 

"It has become quite the dilemma 

I want you, but the reality I know

Yet as much sense as moving on makes 

You I cannot forgo 

 

"You are not perfect, but- for me- you are perfect

With you I can be carefree

I need you because I love you

Now if only you needed me

 

"They say all who fall in love become a poet

And that having thy unrequited love within reach hurts most

I never believed either to be true

But that was before I met you"

 

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