That Wasn't Love

i thought i loved You

In truth my actions showed my fear of losing You and my want for Your affections

Rather than showing my affections for You

That isn’t love

i went out of my way to make time for You instead of investing in myself

That isn’t love

i asked everyday to see You because i immensely enjoy Your company

That isn’t love

i smothered You, annoyed You, stressed You out

i hurt You out of pent up pain and frustration- That isn’t love

Patience was lost on me, personal space did not exist, i was engulfed more in the idea of love than present in our friendship

Everything i did, to help, to take care of You came from my heart but is overshadowed by the negative things i have done

The bad has outweighed the good

i have driven You away and the resulting pain is unendurable

In Your presence i was inconceivably happy, in mine you felt trapped

Im sorry

Love is patient, love is understanding, love is respect, love is kind

The best of the world, the best of this life i wish for You

Because of You i learned what love is and what it’s not

i wish to show you my growth, to have another chance, to show you what love really is

But

Because i love You i will let You go if that's really what You want, even though a life without You....

i can't bear the thought