Waste of Life

It's unusually common for me to cry
Sometimes I feel like I'm dying inside
Those days when it all seems dark
Seem to tear me apart

Some days I don't want to rise from bed
Some days I hate the thoughts in my head
And even more, I hate myself
Thinking, "why am I here... alive and well..."

It's true
   Some days are darker than most
Some days
   I'm enveloped by the cold
No heat, for me
No light, for me
And it's everything I can do just to hang on
When I feel that everything is wrong

I feel that I don't deserve this life
   The goodness, the light
       Are things that I haven't earned
The hardships that I've endured
   Were too little, I believe
       For me

And every day
   I'm hard on myself
And I am pleaded to get some help
   But it hurts when I feel

It's true
   Some days are darker than most
Some days
   I'm enveloped by the cold
No heat, for me
No light, for me
And it's everything I can do just to hang on
When I feel that everything is wrong