WasteLand

demons are druelling at my soul there circling around me . i know what will come tears wont stop them being miserable drives them wild . Its my journal i know how i got to this point. hurt does not = self destructive behavior God has sent angels down he knew my thoughts and saw a good man who seperated himself from the one who would not hurt him. my heart hurts crys out too God why such things happen to men is this a test to lean on youu alone..? fishing was the my love it brought me peace as kid respected the joy of life i was alone it didnt judge my equip ment or why i was alone i knew it came from God. Nothing changed but me ... ive corrupted myself spread it all over me to the point of total destruction all for not in suchaway. i could get to serve rest my days and not serve a substance without value no comparison to Gods heart poured out here on this planet for us . the devil needs but a few things to go in his favor to get separation from are maker savor . halfway to nowhere is it possible that i seek out my true father for both of us this is miserable seeing feeling all the loss my soul and heart are on fumes . Happiness has eluded me few breif moments in last 20 . my father forgive me you alone got me to a sense of normality and i just let you slip away as my own life became a reality of loss and painful memories being made every month.Devil knows where im at exactly what it will take to rob myself of a peaceful life im often tormented inside gottten down on to the point of giving up. devil snuff me out so fast most likely farther away where its not going seem likely id see heaven my heart will no longer exist soul doomed to torture non stop suffering its not much further to roll , Thankyou i still have hope that the lord will come to me and interact in suchaway that I will not be ashamed tormenting thoughts will vanish hope reestablished love for i would not want any other to feel such hoplessness darkness far from light .dismisleglummy death and misery nothingness i will find sheltering light safety with God