water in me

Water, water drinking till you think the gap in your heart is filled to the brim.

no one gets how all that water comes out again and again. No one gets why my heart and soul seem to fade every single day.

 I don't know what I'm stuck here with tears filling my eyes. All I can think about is to try to refill the unfillable gap, the-the unbearable gap  that will never fill. 

This gap has become what defines me it has become a part of me. 

Everyone thinks and even believes I'm just shy but I'm just so lonely. I'm just a lonely person with many friends.

The fake smile helps all these people to never learn my mistakes or dreams, So I smile every day believing in making others happy will I'm not. 

 I'll tell them what they want to hear.

 My fading soul will drown and the hollow me will talk.

I have never cried in front of them because I am so scared to break the well in my heart they can never understand my pain.

The unfixable well stay cracked and in rumble will I drown in my own sorrow. Water drips down my chest out my soul out my empty life again and... my life slowly drains away.