The Way I Am

Why am I the way I am?

My life was one not many could stand

Live in fear; always looming danger

A body hits the wall, you’re in your own house a stranger

Your body goes rigid when you hear the bottle break

So many nights all you could do was cry and shake

Of three children, you’re the golden one

Accompanied by a stray daughter and a troublemaking son

Always told you are the one who will be great

When you don’t succeed, all you feel for yourself is hate

Medical bill cost so much, had to hid your pain

Each day trying to convince the world that you are not insane

Trying so hard to stay on the right path

Terrified of straying and feeling your mother’s wrath

She’s been through so much, you don’t want to add

It would kill her inside to know you’re always sad

Every time you open up, your heart gets broke again

Put up such a wall so no one can get in

There’s only one person who ever brought it down

But he ran away, left you lying helpless on the ground

People say they’ll never let you fall

But no one seems to care enough to stick around through it all

You feel so worthless, nothing you do is right

It seems the real you only comes out at night

So many opportunities, a chance for something new

Gladly try it all, this new lifestyle appeals to you

Drinking everything in sight, try to hide the hurt

Smoke it all away, though it only makes things worse

That is who I am, who are you to judge?

You can try to change me, but I know that I won’t budge