The Way I Spill

The Way I Spill

By Lena H-B

From Cousins silencing me

To Uncles ridiculing me

From Mothers hugging me

To Sisters urging me

I spill my secret

Of what happened to me for two years

Behind closed doors

I spill the memories of

The times I cried alone

In the dark

I spill my emotions

I spill how I was left frozen

In the scariest of times

When his hands were on me

I spill my fears

I spill my regret

Of not telling someone

For two years

I spill my anguish

I spill confusion

When I realize

That nothing has changed

But yet everything will

I spill my anger

When the law doesn’t work

“We can't help you”

I spill my rage

I stop my silence

I lash out

I scream

I cry

I fall

From what I’ve been through

To the trust, I've lost

From the love I feel

To the lust, I do not

I spill my power

When I realize

That my words

Have meaning

I spill my empathy

When I hear the stories

Of other girls and boys

I walk in their shoes

I spill my childhood

When I think about the times before

When everything was fine

I spill my innocence

I spill my love

For the people

That show theirs

I spill my trust

To my best friend

Who constantly asks me

“How are you”

I spill my excitement

For my rollercoaster

The ups and downs

Of my life

I spill my hope

For the future

And what it carries for me

I smile with my music and laugh with my friends

I shout for my power and wish it never ends

I stand up for who I am and what happened to me

I rise