We Both Died

‪This will forever be hard to wrap my mind around, living and loving without you I never knew that I’d know the feeling of living this life with wounds that aren’t healing ‬

I can’t seem to break away from the shadows of loneliness

They sweep over me like a gust of wind

Plummeting towards my demise

When will I break?

I already feel myself chipping away

Each fiber of my sanity dissolving in a pit of no control

Each fiber dispersed, I am no longer whole

We both died that day

I died inside with all of these wishes, should haves

What stopped me?

How can I forgive myself for not loving you on time

How can I forgive myself for loving you when you aren’t around to experience this unconditionality

The wind howls but I don’t hear your voice

The sun shines but I look away from it

Is the sun you?

How can I look you in the eye when you shine so bright still?

Intimidated by your perfection, always have been, always will