i was deconstructed

before i was

made anew

 

(that is to say

that i

broke down

felt weary

knew suffering

 

that i had counted days

between days

in which i was content

in-between days

in which i was unhappy

and not knowing

why

 

that i had felt my heart trip over panic

escalate in anxiety

that i had felt my heart slow in defeat

sagging with despair)

 

but as the caterpillar

crumbles

befores the dawn of rebirth

so did i

 

i had always been certain

that i was alone

because i was

lonely

 

(that is to say

that i was without

companionship

love

friendship

 

that i had

deliberately become the leaver

ever in fear of being left)

 

but some truths are made to be

disproven

and the embrace

from which i'd run

turned into the love

that held me together

 

i was deconstructed

before i was

made anew

 

(that is to say

i was remade into a

better me

when i allowed myself

to be loved by

someone else)