Weak

You deserved my first more than anyone else

I retired her love like a toy upon the shelf

But the relief was I saw the defects

And although she’s gone I still see the effects

I notice in my expectations and actions

Expecting madness but getting only a fraction

You exceed my needs and satisfy the wants

So why did I feel the need to put on a front?

Like I apologized entirely too much

And used “sorry” like cripple and crutch

Hoping not to upset the princess of fables

I cowered like a dog underneath tables

But now I understand to look past the scars

To let my true self get past the re bars

Protecting the structure surrounding my heart

That I’m not an actor and I’m not playing a part

And I don’t annoy you as much as I thought

And our love is something we deftly wrought

And despite the past and all of the baggage

We can still sit and talk about marriage

I am so weak and terribly keen to desire

She took my virginity, played like a lyre

You deserved it, if only I was stronger

To be a true man and held out a little longer

You are the strong one with all the tact

Despite all the wanting, you keep on track

I’m sorry my lust is Devil’s distract

And that control is something I lack

If I were a man, I would be pure

Through until marriage, I would endure

But now it’s too late, and I’ve failed you

If I knew she, false and you, true

I would have been able to stay holy and chaste

Join our two bodies in marriage, together at last