wedding bells

Wedding bells are ringing

wedding bells are ringing

As I turn around I see the man I'm marring

Walking down to the alter I see my sister and in her hands my nephew shes caring

please sit the pastor states as the man slowly slips my vial away from my face

then suddenly like a shadow casting down at him he vanishes in place

I turn to look at my friends and family and they slowly seem to fade

I start to feel the world cave

and I wake and I start to hypervenalate

something just didn't feel right

I couldn't catch anything I felt like I was late

as I stare at the calendar the year 2013

It was the end of a chapter at age 19

heart aches and sad sorrows

loving days and a painful tomorrows

The man I was going to marry the man I once loved

called me Nov.2013 to tell me he was done

That was the day my heart turned to ice

I took my chances in life like I was rolling the dice

I tried and tried to get him off my mind

but my mind and my body remembered just fine

the smell of him and the memories tumbling like dominoes

one after the other over and over

I found someone who became my late night lover

He was one call away, he was my distraction

Heartless I was, it wasn't lust nor was it love, it was just for my satisfaction

Even then his name slipped out here and there

losing the memories of him was my fear

Then the pain faded and I was healed

I ended it with my lover and suddenly the world became real

I was back and I felt new

To finally get rid of you who knew

that I could finally walk to the next chapter

with you no longer taunting my laughter

I could breath again, I no longer feel myself gasping for air

my clouded judement began to see clear

that you were just a sweet grenade in my innocent days

but you my dear was the start of my new ways

wedding bells are fading 

wedding bells are fading