Weight of Confidence
She was an 8-year-old girl naive and didn’t understand what it meant to be “fat”
She didn’t care it never bothered her
The subtle hints that slip her family’s tongues
“That won’t fit” “that doesn’t suit your shape” “You can’t wear that” “maybe you’ve had enough”
As she grew older it began to stick in her mind
Everything she chose and everything she did
She revolved it around her weight
Her clothes, how much she ate, anything that would expose her size
She would avoid
Though her peers tell her she’s not “that big” or she’s “fine”
She knew she was still “big”
Older and older she gets, and she realizes
Maybe she should try harder to change
At the ripe age of 17 her world took a bit of a turn
Diets, eating less, forcing herself to workout
Putting stress on herself because she wanted to please the world
All she wanted was to be accepted and be a “normal” sized girl
Down and down the numbers go
And the more confident she became
She began to realize maybe just maybe she could wear that dress, the skirt, that cute crop top
When she finally felt like she was getting better
It hit her again
She wasn’t losing enough then she gained more
She sank lower and lower to the point she didn’t care any more
She broke down, didn’t want to do anything anymore
She dropped everything the diets, forcing herself to change
As she put her weight aside and cared more about herself and how she was now
It became easier, she slowly felt the burden lift off her shoulders
She wore cuter clothes, smiled a little brighter
She stopped telling herself it wouldn’t suit her that it would look better on someone “skinner”
Then naturally her weight lifted as well
5, 10, 20, 35 pounds finally left her for good
She was happy the weight was going but that’s not what filled the hole she had
She knew it was great to lose the weight, but she gained something
Something she lost all those years ago
She gained confidence