well seeming chaos

at times, i wish that i could go to sleep and wake up only when i find a state of being that would allow me to live, but posses the freedom of death, a lifeless limbo that would be filled yet empty of unnecessary. the void of action-less oblivion would devour me as if i was a thought and it was my mind. often, i have wished to escape the boundless cesspool of ignorance and materialism that i bob in. amongst the rigid walls of society's conformed i watch the wolves prowl. they are rabid and feverishly fond of the peer-flesh for which they lust. ravenous for nothing but acceptance, they all starve. reluctantly, i have desired to leave these virgin hills which i roam. for, since the dewy birth of my existence, they have begun to slowly fester and ooze idiocy. those that live in their water palaces are the reasonable culprits, living but cursed. while i dwell below, they frolic above rotting in their false happiness and fabricated nirvana. they know nothing of me, but in my loathing i know much of them. for while they rankle in the sun and develop and refine their oblivious continuation deeper into a perpetual rut, i thirve. adversity is no foe, only friend, honing me sharp into a blade from which the world is carved.