Wet Clay

I have a message
on the walls 
of my heart
Black on white
I can't read 
it aloud
But it shows 
in my eyes
every time 
you pass

I have a message
knotted in 
my throat
Flypaper words
Afraid to say it
But it is
always there
No matter if 
i try to hide

Passing the mirror 
I see it printed 
Tattooed 
on my skin
Branded in
my memories
Unformed to everyone
But coursing 
through me

If only my 
stuttering words 
sliding across 
my tongue
Caught by 
my teeth
Would find shape
as a cup 
from wet clay

Blatant 
as a wolf's howl
coursing through 
the night
Shimmering 
in the air
Caught
in the darkness
Is what I feel

I yearn to write it all
My pencil 
always snaps 
Shattering
fragments 
in my hand
As my thoughts 
in my mind
are splinters 
to my soul

Only I know 
what I mean 
Caught 
in a doorway
Acknowledging
But not unveiling 
Living dead words
Dead to everyone
Alive to me

I begin again
Surging Hope
Lead to paper
Hold my breath
Gather courage
The world will see
Unwavering step
I Take the leap
Soaring