What is this?

I can't listen to my heart for listening to my mind

Cuz my mind steady telling me it'll get better with time

But my heart aches at the thought of the lie that my mind is steady telling it that I can do nothing but cry

Cry, cuz I am loosing everything that I am

My worths, my beliefs, I'm loosing everything damn

Trading my happiness for sadness 

Trading my smiles for frowns

Joy for Pain loosing everything with nothing to gain 

For what? I ask myself, cuz I wanna be loved? 

But true love is not this so what am I in?