What am I to you?

Sometimes
I am a lost cause
Someone who is 
Too depressing
Too anxious
Too broken 
Too far gone 
In the silence that is
My own frayed mind
And you don't want
That mind receiving 
Any light
Any hope
As you deem 
That thing
That scar 
That wound
A cancer that must be 
Eridicated
And suffocated
Before it affects 
Everyone 
And everything 
You love or
Even ever cared about

Sometimes I am an object
A toy
A piece of land
A unmarked point
That many feel
That they are
Entitled
To claim
To explore
To scavenge 
To play with
To expose
To exploit 
To judge
All in order
To really say
That it is theirs
Or that they have 
Been with 
Been on 
Or been around with
Even though
They lie
They use
They bet on
They break
They manipulate 
In order to get 
What they really want

Sometimes I am a punching bag
Never physical 
But
Verbally
Mentally 
Emotionally
Those blows
Those cuts
Those broken pieces 
Are vivid and blatant 
They many a times
Are by accident 
They are rooted
Out of spite
Out of frustration
Out of anger
Out of jealousy 
Out of disappointment
Out of lust
Out of fear 
Out of sadness
They are usually
Never meant 
Never directed 
As what they 
Came out as
But words never 
Really do leave 
The pages that they
Seem to be written on
No matter how hard
You try to erase
Or white out
They are still there
Faintly 
Ghostly 
Present

Sometimes
No
Everytime
I am a human being
With a mind 
That is a bit different 
But still understands 
With a heart 
That is so full of love 
But still hurts
With feelings
That may not be present 
But are always there
I am a human being
Remember that
I am a human being 
I am 
I remember
I remember everything. 
Everything.
Past and present.
And future. 
I am a human being
And sometimes
Sometimes
I understand
Who you are.

 

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