What is depression?

Dear, people who don’t understand

Trying to explain my depression is like trying to breathe underwater. Wanting to take a breathe but knowing if you do you'll sink under, the feeling of depression and loneliness pushing down on my chest like 10 ton boulder. Of course I'm used to it now and don't pay it no mind hoping it will go away and never return. Months pass and depression sneaks back up on me as if it never left. Letting me know I'm nothing and never will be nothing. Making you wonder if I die will somebody finally care about me? But no, depression does more to you than strip away your feeling of self worth.. it changes your life to the point you don't recognize yourself anymore. You don't smile the way you used to, you don't go out, and you talk to no one and you have no friends. Then thinking maybe if I get a bf or gf things will change and I'll be happy again, but you didn't know depression and loneliness would bring their friend insecurity to the party and now you're scared to even love someone that you know Is good for your well being. So you ignore it hoping that you don't get your heart crushed. Months maybe even years pass and things are going great. Till one day you catch him cheating but you don't leave them Cus of course they "never" meant to hurt you and it "won't" happen again thinking loves conquers all problems when communication is really key. But little did you know that insecurity and depression are now roommates inside your own mind so you start contemplating if he's cheating every night. Things get worse, you break up and now you're back at square one with depression as your side kick. Like you said your vows "till death do us part."

Love, the girl it changed