What Do You Think?

If I could manage the things I can't say, to you, that I don't know how to talk to
And speak on these feelings that I've been brought to
I'd probably have progress, if not even have you
I've thought out my speech and I swear that I planned to tell you all of these things that might just have sold you
On the things that I dream and the things that I mean
The world I could give you and the "me" that you've seen
My vision of you, simply being with me

I wish I knew what to say
That I could put together sweet words that would manage to sway you in my direction, things that would drift you my way
I wish I had the patience to sit by and wait
But I want to call more and more everyday
Sorry that I just can't
I'm sorry I let my insecurities dictate my ways
Sorry if me even saying this seems out of place
Sorry if I seem like too much when theres honesty in my face
Sorry if I'm intense
I am so you don't mistake or miss
So that I don't betray my own heart and spirit
I just.. can't stop thinking and thinking and thinking
And thinking and sinking and falling, to where I don't know but I would like to
I apologized for not calling
I didn't apologize for all the stalling
For being uncertain when it mattered
For not acting right when I almost had it
For showing you so much of my damage
For handling this thing so dramatic
And fumbling it in just such fashion
I wish I was smooth
That my edges weren't so sharp and unattractive
I wish I could articulate that feeling of not quite magic
But being so close to something that it strains to not reach out and grab it
That feeling of looking at you and wanting something we never had again
My feelings of longing and wanting a chance to just begin
To articulate the time I spend imagining what if
And the time I spend wondering "what the fuck gives"
I sit and think an us and what blends together and what a "this" is
I tend to jump the gun and I know that I've done just that again
But it's hard for me to care about that because it's harder for me not to wear my heart on my sleeve
It's harder to stare and you and not say the things that I mean
Its hard to sit with you and not try
It's so hard to not compliment you and the shade of brown in your eyes
It's so hard that I wonder why is it I even try to hold back on something that I'd obviously write a thousand soliloquies and poems for
On something that makes me smile while just entertaining the notion
I wish I could just express that I like you
And I wish I could have that really matter
I wish that you didn't see my feelings as part of an ugly pattern
I wish that I could show you this and have it not be so goddamn weird
That I could express an interest so strong that it steers and drives my every motion to just make you look right here

I wish we could talk
And I wish I could see you more and I wish this was more than a thought
I wish I didn't think so much
I wish I just really understood what it is that you want
I just wish that it was me.
So what do you think?