What hurts the most

When I was younger I use to look up to you. 

And now that I see the real you, I see past you. 

As I grew up and moved out, my eyes and mind opened up. 

It Hurts to see you not look pass the negativity.

It  hurts to see you not care about how “I”really feel.

But the nonsense you tell yourself to believe, 

It hurts me more because I really don’t care anymore.

The more I get older the more Im going to notice how you really are 

and the things you think and say, 

most of the time its never true 

and it just blows my mind away. 

“tuh”

My mind is older and my mind is wiser.

I am not a little girl anymore and as I get older,

I grow to see and learn new things. 

Because of you, I am a better me.

What you taught me, 

you made me believe those things were true. 

You throwing things in my face about the past, 

that has nothing to do with the present day. 

Guess what that’s the past.

So please keep it away.  

I just have to say,

you brought up my father like he was a comparison to the man  I am dating today.

You taught me how a man supposed to take care of me in such ways.

But the taking and being a princess didn’t last long for me.

I met someone and he made me see the reality of things. 

It hurts me to see you do not have consideration of the man that I have chosen to be with.

“tuh”

My heart has always been there for you but for some reason you feel as if I have always chosen a man over you.

But what really hurts the most is you throw things in my face as if I don’t understand how ‘’you’’ really feel. 

You want to keep me here in your bubble. You think I won’t escape. 

But I have and Im learning little by little.

Because as much as I stay away I see all the hatred in your face. 

That maybe hopefully one day I will just say fuck him and leave to stay with you one day.