What I Hate

What I hate is how I don't love you but how I don't hate you,

And I don't even like you yet I don't despise you

But you ruined me

I was never a masterpiece to begin with

I always stupidly smiled under a bowed head even when I wasn't happy to see you

I craved your touch even though I knew I didn't want it

Whenever you'd leave, I'd whisper to my friend "He's gonna be a real heartbreaker",

And you were

But I can't blame you because you never really broke hearts

You made hearts break themselves

And I heard hearts have strings but it felt like pillars collapsing

Like a building caving on itself except I was oblivious to the worn beams

These beams I built myself and I told myself "These will be unbreakable"

But congratulations, you broke them

I was told hate is a very strong word

But I hated how hate can describe my feelings

Even though my feelings are not disgust or anger

What I hate is how I still care about you

What I don't hate is how I forgive you