WHAT I HIDE WITHIIN

What I Hide Within

When I am tiered with no words 
I find my mind going back to once 
Where I was sad and lonely a place 
I dreaded to ever see again 

Having nobody to comfort me in my sad
state of mind I wore a mask that always smiled
To hide my feelings behind a lie 

I was cut so deep my pain was all over the place 
I almost could hide it no longer 
Before long I had many friends telling me you 
Don't need a man like that so hateful and curl 
With my mask on I was one of them

But deep inside I was dying crying for this pain to end
I still felt empty cold with no love to hold 
I was missing a part of me of long ago 

Nobody could hear my cries at night I was good at hiding 
what it was I was feeling at the time 
I designed my mask to hide the lies of the world I'm doing 
fine with a drink in my hand and a dance on the way 

With ever guy I meet with a smile on my face 
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling deep within me
For I designed my mask to be laughing and having the 
Time of my life Oh how I lied 

Behind all the smiles were the tears of my pains missing you
And behind all the comfort were the fears of my loneliness
All the blues of coldness I hold in my soul a love I couldn't 
let go why he was out having a life

Everything you think you see about me is all a lie 
Day by day night by night I hold you in my heart why you 
been cutting me apart 

I was slowly dying with every nasty word you had very told 
I couldn't go on much longer 
There was something missing So I started reaching for the drink
That everyone had told me that would kill all things 

But look at me now I'm still searching for where love was good
For the thing that'll stop my crying stop my pains 
For someone who'll erase my fears 
For the person who'll wipe my tears 

I had to look at myself and see the real me that was dying within myself with that drink in my hand 
I looked in the morrow and started crying out so loud it was like thunder hitting the grown 

The rain kept coming down the drink I put down 
With time I found me I love what I see 
All my pains I was holding within is no longer cutting
I smile and it is not fake I choose to let it all go and to start loving me.

Poetic Lilly J. Emery (c)