what if?

We were a thing of the past

Thoughts wander my mind

Im sorry

But I just have to ask

What if we never met

And we never happened

What if i never told anyone

And you ended up taking action

Would I be where i'm at now

Would I be who I am?

If I had never done the things I did

I never would have met him.

What if I took action that night?

Sitting in the bathroom and crying

Would that really have been the end?

What if I never talked about it?

What if I kept my pain inside?

Would I still have lost that friend?

All these questions

They flood my mind

I have to answer them eventually

But when will it be the right time?

All of these what if’s

And the what then’s

I could act as if they never crossed my mind

But how long would i be able to play pretend

Pretend their not eating me alive

Pretend that their not 

Tearing me up inside

Making up the answers that I do not know

Thinking over past conversations

Just so I don't feel alone.

The thoughts seem to never end

I wish i could tell somebody

I wish somebody would understand.