What Ifs

I have to force myself not to love you or I would go crazy

The image of you in my mind has gotten a little hazy

I feel myself falling in love with you more and more 

My heart is so full I want to break down the door

I want to feel your lips on mine and your barriers fall away

As you touch my skin and tell me everything is okay

I want to live life with you, seeking constant adventure

Pursuing the things that lessen pain but increase pleasure

I want to watch your eyes smile as you talk about your day

Getting closer and closer to the dreams that took you away

But it's as if I believe I can find you in these words

When you are really halfway across the world

It feels as if my heart is breaking

Your love is no longer mine for the taking

But it's not as if it ever belonged to me

And as ifs are all I have, never meant to bes