What is it that I Require?

No matter where I am,

Be it a college dorm,

A backwoods road,

A crowded club,

A quiet place,

A car on a dark stormy night,

A wide endless field stretching to the horizon,

Or even a deserted island far off the beaten path and into the unknown.

What is it that I want, I need, I require?

Strength?

Willpower?

Determination?

What I need is not so easily defined as a word.

It is a thought that can be explained if I were to try.

It is a skill a ability that has been forged in the fires of my life.

A skill that I wish I did not require.

What I need is my ability to hold myself together,

To build my walls around my heart and very being,

To show a mask of happiness and normalcy to the world

Even as behind the mask I am falling apart.

Everyone talks about how I’m the strong one,

I’m the one they bring their problem too

The one who listens, silently and without judgement

The one who sets aside their time to help.

I have a opinion, a answer to it all.

I’m the strong one they say.

What they don’t know is that I’m falling apart inside.

What is it I want, I need, I require?

I need the strength,

The inner willpower,

The determination,

The perseverance to hold myself together.

To last another hour, another day, another week.

That is what I need no matter where I may find myself on this earth.

For if I did not have that who I am would cease to exist.

The strong one that listens and councils,

The happy student that wanders campus,

The child of the close knit family,

They would all cease to be.