What It's Like To Be Hopeless

The worst part is that no matter

who I am with

I am lonely

So lonely that I will slice open my skin bag

in hopes that I will find

friends in my scars

But I never do

I only find blood

And sometimes, if I've done it enough

there isn't even blood

Because I've dried up

Hours of sleep pass without me noticing

Last night I stayed up till midnight

and then cried for fourty minutes straight

before falling asleep for a mere

hour and a half

When my eyes snap open like blinds

at two ten am

I am no longer surprised

Today, I will wear my weariness 

under my eyes

Let the world know

that I am craving you

with the plum circles

under my soul

Let it be known that I do not falter

from life

I just do not participate

I have forgotten who I was

thanks to the beast

I call Hopelessness

as she greedily eats

my existance

This is what it is like

to be hopeless.