What It's Like

'Calm down.' 'You're fine.' 'What's wrong?' 'Will you please talk?' 'I want to understand what your anxiety is about.' 'How's it feel?' 'What's it like?' Anxiety is something you can't easily control, if at all. It's like a shadow, a malevolent cloud, stuck on your back. I'll try to explain an anxiety attack. Imagine you're floating, drifting along a river. Carefree. The water is calm. Trees as green as can be. But suddenly.. The wind picks up, The sky goes gray. Clouds roll in. The current changes. Imagine the feeling of pure dread. Fear, worry. The current grows stronger. And, you're trying to stay afloat. Trying. But the currents grow stronger. You're still fighting. You're struggling for breath, Each time you get pulled under you can feel your chest fill with dread. Which only adds to the pressure, But you refuse to go down so easily. You flail your arms, Cry out, Scream! But nobody listens. Your heart sinks, As you feel yourself get pulled under. You feel like you're dying. You see... The currents of the river? That's anxiety. And that feeling you get, As you try to fight to stay afloat, But realize you're getting pulled under? That's how it feels during an attack, But take that feeling I described.. And magnify it, tenfold. Anxiety isn't some gender based disease. Anxiety doesn't give a shit if you're white, black, asian, hispanic, American Indian. Anxiety doesn't care if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight. Anxiety doesn't care if you're agender, like me. It doesn't care if you're genderfluid, genderqueer, Transgender, boy, girl, man, woman. Young or old. Anxiety will consume you. ...Only if you let it.