What I've Been Trying to Tell You

You’re focused on the music

I’m focused on my happiness

The two could co-exist

But for some reason you’re not having it

And I keep coming back again

Knowing that I could get trapped in this

Cycle

 

And so it begins

You’re good to me, we fuck, we’re cool

It’s like we’ve been the best of friends

But the next day you got me looking like a fool

It’s like you don’t even know who I am

 

I’m lost, I thought I was yours

I thought I was your boo or whatever

I’m always doing things trying to make us better

While you’re always trying to better yourself

Better your game

Climb the ladder to what you think is fame

Like I’m supposed to hold it at the bottom

Make sure you’re good, and that you don’t fall

But when you treat me like the dirt beneath your feet

Why should I catch you at all?

 

When you need me I gotchu

I’m there and you know that

But when I need you,where are you?

It’s like I can’t get that love back

 

Unless you’re trying to convince me to stay

Like you did ‘round my birthday

My birthday wish was a kiss

Even that you couldn’t give

You wanted to go out and “live”

‘Cuz I guess being with me is like dying

You have to lay your ambitions down to rest

Like I’m such a kill joy, when we both know

You were just out with your boys

But I guess that’s none of my business

As one of your toys

 

I know I should end this, that would be smart

But from when I’m blue, to seeing red

To when I’m happy in your bed

This love is a work of art

And it could be beautiful if I see it through

If…

 

But I don’t think I will

I don’t think it’s worth it

I don’t think you care for me

The way I care for you

And you won’t ‘til we’re through

But by that time I’ll be done. Gone.

Moving on to something new

 

It may not get much better

But then again, anything has to be better

Than feeling like nothing

Being treated like nothing

And when things are going “well”

Having nothing to show for it

 

So please don’t touch me

Don’t try to convince me otherwise

Don’t say anything or look in my eyes

‘Cuz I’ll melt and forgive you

I’ll lose my nerve

And end up being treated how I do not deserve

 

So this is goodbye

I mean, it’s been fun

I’ll see you around

And if not, oh well

It’s not like you’d notice anyway

This’ll just be another day

And that’s fine by me

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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