What I’m meant to be

It’s hard living in this fantasy world,
The one you have unfurled.
It doesn’t matter any thing else you do it isn’t my business, you’ve made that clear,
How you became so unattached with a quickness, away from me you steer.
But your okay with **** me, you said it nonchalant,
And anything else that we had, you simply do not want. 
To have your cake and eat it too, you must be a proud man,
For reasons I allow this all, other than my love I do not understand.
To be able to do what you want, and not answer to anyone,
And still be able to come home, and there you have your fun.
It will surely have me falling apart when you decide to move on,
Let’s face it, you are done with me, any other feelings you had are dead and gone.
And who will suffer in the end, I’m not sure I want to know,
For every feeling that I have right now, I am forced to hide away and stow. 
I want to follow you til the end, I love you so damn much,
I guess my love was misplaced when I started using you as a crutch.
I sleep 5 feet away from you now, but in a different bed,
Never to touch and hold you, forever I will sleep alone instead.
Sleeping at night is a death sentence, I would rather stay awake for life,
Bring on the restless sleep until my afterlife...
If there will ever be a future for us, it’s not for me to say,
For you are the one who holds the key, and all’s I can do is sit and pray...
That one day I may mean more to you again, I really hope that’s soon,
For anything else I say to you is always inopportune. 
I’m always crossing lines, invisible, I can’t see,
Maybe one day you will realize, that we are really meant to be...