What an "A" Means

Waking at 6 to a cool draft;
taste of stale, meth air crawling through the
      cracks
to hover over me. I wake, taking the key from under my pillow
to unlock the safe under the dresser
for the key to unlock the deadbolt
to leave the bedroom.
This is what an “A” means to me.

Breathing in squares throughcrowdedhallwaysonetwo three
four.
With sleeves stretching past my thumbs.
Through the breaths reciting elemental properties
and the mnemonic devises that savor them.
This is what an “A” means.

Beneath the register,
writing rough drafts on receipt paper;
between sweeping and steamed milk dollops,
a supervisor, stern to stop me.

Arriving home at 12 to a blacked-out mother;
Taste of stale wine crawling from the bottom of the bottle
       into me
to warm me. I carry her to bed and type an analysis of Structuralism.
This is what an “A” means to me.