What is My Life?

What is my life? I mean what does my life value? It’s like I’ve been driving on this long road for hours on end, And have still not met the horizon. Or it’s like I’ve been chasing rainbows Trying to find the end with the pot of gold, But I never reach it. Its sad, masquerade face melts before I get the chance. What am I living for? Absolutely nothing. I would actually like to say that I’m living for my self But not even that is true. I have no idea what I’m living for… I think perhaps I am living for hope. The hope that one day my life will change, And I will be able to get out of this mess I call home, And be free of any and all burdens that were holding me down. I think that is what I live for. Haa, but that is so wrong. Who gave me life? Who has let me live another day over and over again? God! That is what I should be living for. But why have I fallen away from Him? Why do I treat Him like a snake in the grass, That I would run away from or even kill! It makes no sense that I would treat this being so hatefully – This being who lets me go on another day, And promises me so much that I do not deserve. I feel anger towards Him just as much as I do my own sister (Who has done nothing but bring me down Except for the ODD occasion that she is actually nice to me.) God is my Father, and I treat Him like He is nothing. How cruel am I? To treat the One who has saved my soul like He doesn’t exist. That is how I treat Him. I cannot give the excuse that I have too much homework. Almost every night I finish with plenty of time to watch movies, But of course, oh no, I don’t have time for Him. I could care less if I should spend time with Him, And yet He is ever present in my life. “He will never leave me or forsake me”. What about me? Is that how I feel towards Him? What is my life?