What They See And What She Doesn't

I used to be an ugly monster. I used to be a monster of a girl. Now I am a unique tiger. Now I am the only one of my kind and becoming incresingly rare. What changed? I used to think it was how I looked. Now I know that it is because of my story. People only see the photo, they only see the filter. They don't know the real story; they don't  know the real me. I used to sound differently. Words with rage and hate. I came home one day to a whole new world. They looked at me differently. They were listening to me differrently. Who could've known the difference? Only me.

I sit at home day and night, wondering if I should do my homework or not. Thinking if I should make a change and get my grades up. It's not worth it- I think to myself. What good will it do for you?. It will definitely make your family happy and get some stress off your shoulders. Yes, but how will you feel afterwards. My hope lessens everyday. Waiting on the day she will come back and find me. I only hope for one thing now and it isn't getting anywhere, anywhere at all. Her. Her is who I wait for. Her is who I sit at home day and night thinking of. Wondering if she is okay. Wondering if she is thinking of me. 

What do you want to be when you get older? What are your plans for the future? Will you ever get your grades up? They asked these questions because she isn't here to ask them. I answer with what isn't expected of me. Why isn't it? Because they don't know me. They only see my actions but don't sit and try and figure out what they mean. I say these words and they don't take the time to match it all together. They can only see the filter. They can only hear the filter.