What Were You?

It's only in these moments

when my hand glides on paper

that I let my mind think of you

I wonder where you are and what you're doing

My hopes are high

but I'm sure you're not wasting your time wondering about me 

and almost us

I dream of England and cold rainy days promised

The sun shines too hot here

I never had a problem with the heat

till you chilled me to my core

now I crave the cold

I miss nothing but the feeling I got from your full attention

The only girl in the world

Stratch that

Woman

You made me feel grown

and rich with confidence

and guilty

I don't allow myself the true me

but you embraced a part caged in

these bitter years made me forget

the memories but faded away

let the time detangle

because of fear

maybe it was real love or a fling or lust or a mystery 

so I'll just chalk it up to a leason I never quite learned from