What is wrong with My Heart?

What is wrong with me?

Did I receive a defective heart?

Because it seems like everytime

I start to like

I start to trust

be comfortable

Love

It rips me apart

I hate how I love

So easily so quick

Yet the result is that I end up

Alive and deathly Sick

So innocent and true

But then I end up alone

Blue

Afterwards

I tell Myself

Time and Time again

You’re moving too fast

To easily to be grasp

By the next person I thought had genuine interest in me

And yet why can’t I get used to this pain

I know why

Because my dumb naive heart is on my sleeve

not safe within my brain

What is wrong with my heart?

It seems to run me

I hate to the core how I can be quite a dummy

I need that affection and I crave that high

when the person I start to fall for

Looks me in my eye

My emotions have me by a spiked collar and rusted chain

Slowly driving insane

Because I can not understand myself

To the point it disturbs my health

I can’t sleep, and I can barely think straight

All of this because of my heart

Oh how I hate

It

The fact that i fall for such simple things

I’m dumb and naive

And I can not stand it

What is wrong with my heart?

Why can’t I set it free

From the trap, the cage, the pit

That is Me

I wish I could rip it out

and put it on the shelf

Squeeze it and wring it

of all its nostalgic, romantic, sentimentality

until nothing is left

I pray to be cold at times, I pray to be numb

I pray the day these feelings and emotions

Never Come

I beg to be set free

I want to be the commander of my own self

And set my mind at ease

from doubt, from pain, from rejection

That comes when my heart craves love’s affection