What You Don't see

What you don't see is that I'm becoming the woman you've wanted me to become

Instead I'm lazy, careless, and everything in between

What you don't see is that I try my best in school

You think I don't care at all, yet I get A’s and B’s on my report card in all of my honors classes

What you don't see is that I'm anxious and insecure

From all of your years of degrading me that shouldn't be a surprise to you

… but it probably is

What you don't see is how I can’t love myself

because you’ve stopped loving me so suddenly

What you don't see is how I break down after each and every argument

Feeling like I'm hopeless and worthless

What you don't see is that I'm falling in love with a great man

Instead you focus on everything thats wrong with him

What you don't see is that my father is now more involved with my life than you are

And he lives 400 miles away

What you don't see is that I'm trying to fix what's broken

But you just keep tearing it apart

What you see is a girl that is lazy, disrespectful, and careless

What I see is a mother that doesn't love her daughter, instead she is seen as a slave

You lived your life through me and make me feel worthless

You made a mistake at 20 years old and now I'm the result

I've believed everything you said to me and now I'm broken, unable to be fixed

I can't even remember the last time you told me you were proud of me

Why can't you see me for who I really am