What You Would Not Know

October 30, 2015

I am the person that loves to help others,

who longs to make others happy.

I will forfeit my happiness for the sake of others

because if I'm hurting I'll keep it to myself, so it doesn't hurt anyone else.

Sometimes I feel too selfless

Like I just give up my chance of happiness.

So when I try to be selfish, it hurts.

I would much rather see someone else's smile,

then see my own.

People have expectations for me

The leader. The planner. The giver.

They expect me to do whatever needs to be done,

and I can't say no

because if don't do it who will?

What if it never gets done?

I would rather stress myself out,

then risk the chance of failure as a group.

As much as I try not to show my struggle,

it's written on my face.

People can read me like a book,

looking into my big brown eyes

and knowing what's wrong,

but I won't talk about it

because talking about it is venting,

and venting is mistaken for judging,

and I don't like to judge.

I try to not care...

To not worry,

To not stress

because that's what I'm told to do.

But it's much easier said then done

because when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders...

How do you not fall over?

The key is to get back up,

never stop,

and never give in to the weight of the pressure

because I am strong.

Stronger than I ever thought I was.

I am who I want to be.

I am determined to succeed.

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