What're the words?

Piano pulsing steadily behind me

The pianist can’t see inside me

Or else he’d see the ever flowing pit of anxiety

That was going to burst out and silence me

What’re the words? What are the words?

Oh right!

I think I remember! 

Maybe I can actually do this!

Crap! No, wait. wait! 

Why does the pit keep rising?!

What’re the next words? What are the words? 

The air was taken out of my chest

My mind went blank

What’re the words? What are the words?

It’s overflowed 

It’s got to my brain

I can’t think of anything to say

What’re the words? WHAT are the words?

The one thing that I was good at

The one skill that I still had

The one thing that made me stick around

The one thing that people would praise

Now, what’re the words? What are the words?

I don’t have time to take a deep breath

When the judges stares have locked onto their prey

Stumbling over something that she’s practiced for months

But when it really counts, she just isn’t enough!

What’re the words? What are the words?!

I finished that performance

And got not one clap

Not a single person thought that I was deserving of their pity clap

The stage lights seemed farther away

No longer was the stage my safe space

It was scary and cruel just like the rest of the world

I had no other escapes

What’re the words? What are the words?

I wept and sobbed for days

And fell into a depressive state

I couldn’t express my feelings

No, I just couldn’t find the words

What’re the words? What are the words?