What's the matter?

Is there something wrong with me? They often don't understand me when I speak. Is what I say too complex or are they too simple in the way they think? Am I in some way or another "weird"? We are not all linked. Maybe I should act as everyone else. It may be best for me to follow the norms to stay undetected and at the same time, make more friends. But that's not what makes me happy. If I don't follow the stereotypes, then I'm strange. A lame. That's just the aim of the game. But I don't stress it. I take rejections from society as what make me stand out as god's ultimate blessing in a world where few dare to go the distance to be different. Is something missing? Is it wrong of me to care about getting all of my homework done properly? Or care about my grades? I’d like to Make one thing clear. Slam me if you will. But just keep in mind that these thoughts are not expositions of condescending nature. I’m simply bringing up these questions that seem to appear when I observe an act that I would never execute myself. Jason dies of laughter when he asks his close friend Rob if he did the history project and Rob responds with a nonchalant attitude and says, “We had a project to do? No I didn’t do that. This makes me feel like an alien because I could never picture myself saying something like that. i feel confused and slightly insulted. I just try to be nice to my acquaintances and the people I affiliate myself with. At times, the people I’m around seem to be more attracted to people who invite and bring upon negativity into their lives than to be overload with compliments. Is there a time and place for pats on the back and a time and place for resentment like there is a time for playing and a time for work. The girls are more attracted to the bad boys. Should I insult them just a little playfully? Just enough until they get close to the point where they almost feel attacked, annoyed or have to defend themselves either physically or verbally? “Maybe just a little more.” As long as they don’t cry. Is this the thought process? Is mom’s advice to be kind and a gentlemen is a useless tool that should be thrown out the window a few times until we feel that we’ve lost our grip or the fire and lust that we had when we first meet. If so, then I guess that the first impression will always be the best. From their prospective, us guys are all players who think were Division one prospects. Idealists who sometimes get in way over our heads. Should I sweet talk only when I am sexually urged to try and get what I want. Should I only speak to a woman if I want to get them to sleep with me? Is that what my approach really means? Did one of the many precious, beautiful jewels of the earth, capable of carrying the valuable product of fertility, know deep down that my strutting over with swagger meant that I was trying to see more than I was allowed in public. But still decided to just go along for the ride and see how it’s going to play out. Little did she know that I didn't know that she knew what I really wanted as i spoke to her with occasional glances downward, acutely towards her chest. If she suddenly makes plans on me, at least I know I tried my best. Maybe I should meet more people. People like me. Will the people like me have friends even when their friendly. Allen says that he doesn't care. Is that how I should act? Like I don’t care? Sabrina got a hundred on the test. While walking across the street yesterday, she showed Philip, the guy she calls her "future husband but he doesn't know it yet," a 90 and he was all like "how can that be when your not smarter than me?" If i want her one day, is that what I must say? A put down is a statement I see almost every weak. Is that what my reactions should be? Regardless, I won't try it. That's too mean. I may say something to someone else that makes them ask themselves what my thought process is. I don’t want to be made fun of because I don’t have a phone, or the right shoes, or can’t afford a car to go out every weekend. My reality is actuality. When my mom began to go to school in order to have a career in the future so that we could have a better life one day, she constantly struggled with English grammar in her homework assignments. So there was even more pressure on me because she felt that there was no excuse not to do well because I understood every word of every note that I wrote down and every test that I took When the time came , I jotted down every noun. The popular kids were the one’s who would hassle the bus driver. Every now and then the school, security would talk to the antagonist with a mild grin. He seems to get a positive response of laughter and reassuring pats on his back. Shall I allow the corruption to consume me and live with indifference as far as my education is concerned? I know that I should keep my room clean, but there are many teens that their parents kid that they don't clean their rooms as if it’s the way their supposed to behave. Maybe that’s true. My parents tell me the consequences of living like a pig but in the real world, how does it really affect you. Should that really be my greatest concern? Cleaning my room? What about the stain on mu shoes or the fact that I’m out of fashion. Just kidding. I ask because where I am from, kids go to school hungry, come home hungry and go to sleep hungry. Sure it's not my fault that I am here. Ultimately I know that a number of my questions are rhetoric. Those are not the lines that are most important to me. The one's I'd like to focus on are the one's that I don't yet have an answer to because I know that once I do, I'd be one step closer to being a man and knowing who I am. I don't know if it's all worth it to even go this far. Will anyone allow themselves to go with me? I take one for the team Bear with me for the peak we will climb We won’t stop till we all shine.