When Confidence Gets Killed

My head is pushed under the water
into the sea of insecurities.
I open my mouth
for a gasp of breath
but no oxygen enters--
only self-hatred.

It floods down my throat.
Traveling, flowing

into my veins
and runs to my heart
like a lion chasing prey.
Snatching the blood-pumper
it rushes to my brain.

The self-hatred snickers
as it hisses its nasty words.
"You're a bitch."
"You're a slut."
"See that fat on your stomach?
Go make yourself throw up."

The longer it lingers
the more my body collapses
from the inside out
rushing through my veins

making way to my heart

and dissolving my lungs.

My organs shrivel to a crisp.
Crumbling, fading to grey
from the dark words
that torture my brain.

My once radiant body
that glowed with confidence
has been diminished and

worn away.
Nothing about me

can ever be the same.