When Does it End?

When does it end?

Today, tomorrow, never,

My heart won’t stop hurting because you keep on twisting your words.

When does it end? 

Does it end when I end my life for foolishness or does it end when I realize that all of this is just a bunch of stupidness. 

Stupidness meaning that I let myself fall for you after building a wall against you but you break it down with your words, words that act as bombs and weapons, so destructive yet so peaceful. This is where my anxiety kicks in, telling me that you need to please him or else he will leave you for the same girl you know hates you. 

When does it end? Oh my... my mind tells me no but he’s saying yes. He keeps saying “I never meant to hurt you” or “ I didn’t intend to hurt you”

Bullshit.

That’s what comes out your mouth... 

I keep on convincing myself that you’re not the bad guy but actually I am the bad guy 

Telling me I don’t have anxiety it’s just my mind. 

All my thoughts are fucked up because I cannot vent to my mother because she will look at me hurt and disappointed or is it I’m just not trying to get an ass whooping 

When does it end?

The lies you told me are wrapping around my throat, the air I breathe is slowly decreasing everytime I think you actually care, 

I’m suffocating from everything you ever said,

Blaming me for not sending you pictures that will make you feel good yet 

you are out there with some girl who will give up anything for you

When does the lying and hypocrisy end,

Only God can truly decide because they say he doesn’t give you more than you can handle but it feels like I’m drowning in my tears every time I let you in to see you betray me and then I question myself 

When does this cruelty end?