When I finally started caring

Once again I see only the reasons why I will never be good enough. There are too many things about me that are just so messed up so it makes sense. I'm just at a point where there is so much anger contained inside of me for such stupid and petty things. I feel myself losing my grip on the only things that keep me sane and you dont know whether to care or just let everything take over. I don't know if i should cry or play guitar until my fingers bleed, which I should actually do today. I just wanna be able to like myself in some way and I just don't haven't been able to find a way for me to do that I wasn't able to find a way. I want to be happy

I want to be wanted 

I want to be loved 

Accepted 

I want to cry without caring whos around or be able to have a decent conversation, there's just so much that i want but i know it will never come to be

Im  drowning in the air around me and suffocation on my thoughts

I hope tomorrow is better and that hopefully i can escape the prison of my mind but i feel trapped and no matter how hard i try i get lost further back then before and i want to get further. I just don't think that will happen for awhile since i've slipped a few ways 

Into a better day