When I met myself

Dear Alexa,

how did we get here?

how far we have fallen?

there so many goals unfullfilled. dreams and lost loved ones we always wanted

to lift us up and be there when we are down.

now my face is too heavy and my smile muscles to weak to pull up this frown

how funny is life?

that one can lose it all so fast?

how did we do it and how long will this pain last?

I lost it all and now I see that nothing is real

I`m spinning in circle's trying to get out of this feel

How? Why? Please! I`ll do anything to get out of this confusion

I cannot deny this truth no longer that life is an illusion

there must be something real that I latch on to

my boyfriend, this house, myself are nothing tangible I can hold to

As I lay spinning in hell I remember what held me center in my youth

but no I can't its too late for me to go back to that truth.

But I must because I cannot live in this torture for longer than 1 percent of a second.

It is God that I have been missing from center.

But still the European image that I was taught in school doesn't feel right.

Which image can I turn to so I can sleep easy at night?

"Silly Alexa" God says to me

Open your eyes so you can see

You don't need to worship anything visual

I am God and I am in you as the indiviudal.

Let my love fill up your heart as intended.

No need to seek material or earthly images to defend this.

I last longer than historical figures can prove.

I `ll last longer than Cairo ruins.

I am you and in the hearts of all life.

Carry with me this message so all will have life.

With Love,

Alexa